Stress

The other night I got a survey in the mail about how I deal with the stress of grad school. It featured such questions as "How often have you...

...been blaming yourself for things that happened?
...been refusing to believe that it has happened?
...been looking for something good in what's happening?
...given up the attempt to cope?"

They seemed to assume a priori that anyone in grad school must be faced with unbearable stress. But as long as I think about things rationally, I know I never have any reason for that kind of stress.

"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?
...
"Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?' For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
--Matthew 6:25-27,31-34

Since I've begun to understand these verses, it's become one of the most relieving things in my life. I needn't worry about my career, or dating, or any unknown event, or even death, because God, who loves me, is sovereign.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
--Romans 8:38-39

What does this mean to me? I will defer to Sara Groves, who is by far a better poet than I.

Remember surrender,
Remember the rest;
Remember that weight lifting off of your chest,
And realizing that it's not up to you, and it never was.
Remember surrender,
Remember relief;
Remember how tears rolled down both of your cheeks
As the warmth of a heavenly father came closing in.
...
Remember surrender,
Remember the peace;
Remember how soundly you fell fast asleep;
In the face of your troubles your future still shone like the morning sun.
Remember surrender,
Remember that sound
Of all of those voices inside dying down
But one who speaks clearly of helping and healing you deep within.
--Sara Groves, All Right Here, "Remember Surrender"

ADDENDUM (1 Jul 2006): I don't mean to say that I've achieved this perfection and never worry - just that I know I don't need to.

Proposals

I was thinking about that fact that a bunch of folks are getting engaged and married these days, and I realized something. I'm engaged too, and the proposal was the most surprising one ever.

Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting:
"Hallelujah!
For our Lord God Almighty reigns.
Let us rejoice and be glad
and give him glory!
For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
and his bride has made herself ready.
Fine linen, bright and clean,
was given her to wear."
-- Revelation 19:6-8

In the crucifixion, Christ asks each of us to be his bride. As an engagement ring, we have his Holy Spirit, which alone enables us to "make ourselves ready", and as a wedding dress, we have his blood, atoning for our guilt so that we can be the pure bride that a just Savior demands.

Furthermore, God is a jealous God. I'm used to thinking about this from the point of view of the wife who has cheated on her husband and thus faces his wrath. But there's also the point of view of the other man who is tempting his wife - this could be the other nations around Israel, or the World, or its Prince. And now it makes sense why God deals so severely with each of these. And we have yet another assurance that God will give us victory over these things. Praise the Lord.